What Happened Digital.

Interesting stuff is what. There was this story I was telling you about, the Botswanesse minister, remember? Word going around is that the what-they-say-over-there-just-before minister has since some way or other been informed about my rant on a blog very far away from Africa. Well, he was not amused at all at all!

He, with pretentious boldness told his wife the whole thing and then they both went and complained to the real president that the sovereignty of the Botswana nation was on trial. So in solidarity, the whole family decided that nothing much was at risk because Kenya was far away from Botswana and it would have to go through big brother South Africa which is a mutual friend if it was to do a KDF on them.

So the real president who is not yet married said ok, we'll chill this thing coz I don’t think the younger president is even following the news, I saw him playing with his digital things and he didn’t seem to want to stop.

So the many-wifed-fattened minister, for the sake of the Botswanesses called the press people a third time and said I have not apologised! Who said so? The press people asked, was that all? And he said yes and they said we thought there was news? And he made a face and they left.

While am briefing you here, a while ago, the younger president-elect now president, from now hence forth known as Muthamaki, was told that the Botswana minister had stolen back his own words. The younger president asked eh..? waiting for more information but it was not forthcoming so he said, never mind I’ll check it out later. But when he visited The Brief, there was no such item.

So he said,. that thing you were telling me, about this Botswanesse eh.. bwana Skeletoni right?..What about him? And they told him neeeeh, nothing much sir it’s just that he has said he did not apologise. Aha ok..but he did apologise right?.. he asked, and they said ohh yes that he did but then again he said he did not. Haiya eh?

Where is that list of ministers, where did I put it? Here sir. Oh ok I thought I had lost it. Look, I have a lot of work, what was it about this Skeletoni fellow..? Not Skeletoni Mteule, it’s Skelemani, but the guy at The Brief did disclose the possibility that he was indeed a bony figure before he married the real president’s sister, right before he became the many-wifed-fattened minister. In fact it was after he saw the report of that conversation on The Brief that he created the feeling and they declared that their sovereignty was on trial.

Right,..have they moved to the supreme court yet? No sir, we are talking about the Botswanesse. The younger president looked seriously at the official that was giving him all these information and said, then let’s forget about the issue, those people are not the west and their president needs a wife, right?

Give them peace, they mean no harm at all at all, so we don’t need to prickle their minimal pride. But wewe inform me if they try another, we can always tell Kaguta on them. By the way did he give back migingo?

But while we let that case rest, the question, what is going on with ministers still lingers and refuses to go unless a warning comes from the NASC. Thousands of miles away from Kimemia, a Swedish minister has been caught between a rock and a hard place. The four eyed blond minister, while commenting on the ongoing hunt for the paperless lot has issued several statements that did not impress his boss, the hairless prime minister of Sweden nor the subjects of the Kingdom of Sweden.

In one of his string of ill fated ill worded ill intended irreversible and irritating statements, he said the hunt was on and those targeted were not the blond and the blue eyed! Jeez!

This brought an uproar only comparable to the famous Arab rebellion that saw to the death of the ever wannabe-president-of-the-whole-long-Africa-united; Gaddafi, with people saying things like shame on you! This reached the kind blue eyed prime minister who said, that minister better start watching how he throws words, sio kuregarega, bloody bure kabisa!

And that’s what happened, whether I know it or not.

He also went on. Tell him that I refuse him very much and I want him to explain himself through himself alone directly and immediately! Ama pap! Yeye kwisha!

We are not racists or are we? He seemed to ask. No, he answered himself. We do not stand by his words now or ever! Bloody….let me not say that. After that severe outburst, the thoughtful minister who found himself between confusion and disfavour had not many other choices, so he has been seen trying to impress and win favour subsequently. My advice to him would have been, smell the coffee, know where it comes from, hold hands and sing we shall overcome!

Besides that, as I also happened to mention the thing about the papaness, the men who have been on this earth for far too long decide to go it safe and not tempt the gods. Halleluiah to that! The new papa steered off the name Peter and excitedly proclaimed,. from this day of our lord, I hereby hence on forthwith declare that I shall be known by the name Francisco the one! I also swear that it only sounds girly but I like it that way, I am Francis the papa otherwise.

And the earth was added some more days to rotate and revolve around the sun just like that!

But the mutual headache is not yet over for the humble people of the republic. Raila is not happy, Kalonzo wants to kupitia katikati again, shamelessly so I should say, and Wetangula is still boring, even after a four day fake vacation in the Southest Africa. Though there is no remedy for that, Kibaki has affirmed that Kenya is in the hands of a dynamic duo!

The mutual headache thus remains about the one who was bought by thirty promises to sell her people cheaply to the west, one Fatouh Bensouda. But in this we have a good friend who is ready to rally the rest of the continent against this colonial institution, our neighbourly president Kaguta M7.

On this he courageously said, I salute the Kenyan people on the other issue; the rejection of the blackmail by the international criminal court, and those who seek to abuse these institution for their own agenda. I was one of those who supported the ICC for I abhor impunity.

However, the usual opinionated and arrogant actors using their careless analysis have distorted the purpose of that institution. They are now using it to install leaders of their choice and eliminate the ones they do not like! What a fire! I nominate President Kaguta for the presidential order of the burning spear!  

With that, we most probably don’t need no more to think about the other president of the states of unity, remember the one whom w’all Kenyans have some fatherly connection to? Who happens to be the first ever not pink president of the states of unity and also who’s name has first initial same as that of our right honourably former PM. That not pink president has been doing his best not to step in his fatherland. We say shame on you to such people.

But did our good friend M7 step on a Kenyan toe? We’ll see.,we will most definitely look into that.

P Bryan Njoroge.

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