Dare Believe And Anything Is Possible

I sat as they wrote my verdict, as you read it. I heard it too and read it as well. Strong in the believe, that you know me. That out of what I have preached you understood me well. You knew me, I thought.

I carry my cross and my rivers I cross, my believe and faith in me, my ego if you like, is too big even for me. I can only see the finishing line and I’ll be there, I will make it, I have no doubt. Beyond those hills, beyond those corners, its there, I will make it. I’ll be there.

I moved on as the whips slashed through my skin. As the curses, cut through the air that I breath. My ears, numb from the accusing voices, resigned. I moved on, feeling every word, every whisper, every rumour.

I looked at you and hoped that you would help somehow, though I knew the cross was mine. You didn’t let me down, you stayed away. I looked through the shouting masses. I think I heard one, just one, recognizable voice, friendly. It urged me on.

I think I saw your questioning expression, heightened with the doubt in your eyes. Your voice was different. So I hesitated. I had to focus on the rough road. Every miscalculated step, brought pain that I had to bare. No choices here.

I laboured on, closed my ears from the deafening shouts of accusations. Only miles to go. I edged on, my cross heavy, aware that I had to carry it. Even you! I could not believe. My strength sank every now and then and I fell hard, hurting every part of my being.

The ground was happy to receive me. It did not mind my weight. It hugged me as darkness got set to set. I was beat, and the ground said stay down! There was this sweet sensation, that I could give it all up and let them have their day.

The dust choke my lungs and the whips tore up my skin as the darkness begged of my submission. One last look at the celebrating crowd and I considered letting the day be had.
But the light, this bright light through the clouds. A voice was it?

The end is yet not. It said. Familiar, familial more so. Related. Clean and with no prejudice it proclaimed the strength of innocence. You don’t fall here, you have I long way to go. Its my judgement only that matters. To me you answer.

The power of those words made me rise. However difficult, knowing that every move was baked in pain. I moved. With the cross on my shoulders, the whips working on my back, I rose. The cursing, the shouting increased velocity.

The road seemed longer, the pain too much. But with every step, I knew I was getting closer to my Calvary. There, there will it all end. If only it wasn’t so far away. Of cause I could let be right here. I could refuse this cup. But what would be my answer.

The heavens were silent as I asked for help. Looking up, the blue skies that were soon to turn gray dared my on. Come on if you know yourself, it said. Come on if you know the truth, it said. And strength will sprout forth from your acceptance, it said.

Believing was easy, knowing me was easy. Taking it all was tough, taking it all I had too. The bleeding was real, the pain was surfeit. When the road gets tough, the tough get going did not apply. Only the voice of innocence and the promising end of the road, made sense.

But these was not the worst. The worst was when you, the “the people that I know” turned your backs on me. When at three o’clock, you denied me. When your spit fell on me. Your disgust exalted. It was then that I turned to my father, and to His hands I laid it all.

But to the true, the freedom shall come. No evil shall surpass the little light in any of the volunteered lamps. Their pain in time shall be lessened. And as I neared my Calvary, the cross heavy on my shoulder, hurt as ever to the depth of my soul. I looked up.

I saw those without judgement, those without prejudice, and those whose thoughts were just. Standing ready, to give hand if so needed. Every step heavy, every breath painful, every nail excruciating, as you speared the side of my body. Not the end yet, the voice said. And behold, it was over.

There was the rainbow I was waiting for. My Calvary as I knew it, was not to be man made.

Njoro.