What Happened Activism.

What happened…? Word going around is that one Bo-ni-fa-ci Mwangi has retired from the world of activism. Hmm..how does that happen we ask. And if the guy needed to advertise his retirement in the first place, shouldn’t he probably have prepared us by announcing his commencement which he mos def didn’t?

What I mean hear here is that all we know about this fellow so far is that he is a trouble maker. There now, an unpatriotic spoilt brat! You guessed right there, I know no love lost between the I and him. I mean how do you start jumping all over the place on one foot, wait until all of dem youth around you have learned the dance and then proclaim a pathetic retirement? No respect lost either!

For those who didn’t get the chance to make acquaintance with the retiree, Boniface Mwangi is the comical guy who has been trying to disrupt all and every other effort by the renown government of UhuRuto from the serious schedule of making Kenya a better place, yes more like Muthama the-awkward has been doing to the governor Dr of Machakos.

We will come back to that because the breaking news is not how a young fellow realises his wife (or like he put it, his life) is all over sudden more important than the noble course he had decided to take. The breaking news is that Mugabe is now 90 years old!! Some champagne toting, here..here! and still a president! More land to the people.

Mugabe is a serious character if you didn’t know. Did you hear what he called Nobel Prize winner father Desmund Tutu, “that silly boy!” Mugabe is the true picture of an African leader, if only we saw him that way and gave him his earned attention.

But from a country (Kenya) still working to decided if its founding father, Jomo Kenyatta, is a hero or not, a country that can not find where it’s greatest hero, the equivalence of Che Guevara and Mandela, his Highness Field Marshall Dedan Kimathi was buried by the brutal imperial robbers, what do you expect?   

According to a study carried out just the other day, Sweden is the fourth happiest place in the world. Now I can hear those aiiiis, but wait. The same study also proved that every fourth Swede has mental problems, mental health issues, I can’t remember the exact term but I am sure you get it. You do the maths. Sweden is a country full of happy bonkers! And don’t try to pin that one on poor me, you did the maths and I wrote what you concluded.

Besides that, the number of suicide cases in Sweden has declined perfectly. Well, Sweden has a population of less or about ten million gringos, amigos, arabianos, africanos, all in all kompisar. Compared to other countries like China, Nigeria and India where citizens literally fight for breathing space, a suicidal Swede must be invisible in the sea of kamikazes.

To prove these, just the other day a phone call went through 112(Sweden’s 911) with a kind request for an ambulance. When the ambulance arrived at a courtyard within Vällinby, it was fired at, yes gun shots. The ambulance personnel who came quick to save had to run quick to save their own lives.

Another call came through 112, this time asking for the police. When they came forth, the place was quiet but they still sealed off the area; not an exaggerated but a procedural move for security reasons.

Finally the police made their way through to the place from where the first call had emanated, when this was done and to their probable horror, they found the chap dead.

But before they could start to blame the ambulance people for being late to save a life, it was somehow (nobody bothered to explain how) discovered or concluded that the dead chap was not only the one who had requested an ambulance, not only the one who had fired a gun at it, but also the same chap who had taken his own life! My point, who else knows about that outside Sweden,? Donge! Well, now you do too. 

The younger president took a whole plane to Uganda the other day using nothing more than his ID card. A whole aeroplane. That is what is happening now; all you need to have for you to cross the East African boarders six times is your ID card. And you say Uhuru has not brought maendeleo with him. Wee…

By this time we should expect the number of Somalis in Kenya to drastically decrease given that it’s cheaper to get an ID than acquiring a passport anywhere especially in my hood Eastleigh;- (now and never to be called little Mogadishu because the area MP said so). Hmm..mybe that was the plan.

But did you see that video where the younger president called some desk person to check if one of his digital ideas was working? Did you hear how she answered? Figure this, you’re working at you desk from where you are most probably reading this at, the phone rings and you pick it up. The voice on the other side is none other and it says, this is your Muthamaki…I know! But she was like—yes..how can I help you? Only in Kenya.

On that I should report that we checked on Kaguta, our neighbourly friend. We found that though his cows had been stolen and given Kenyan names like Nyakio, Nyasumta, Kagwera, Kipngetich, Solomon, Wasiata and Raila among others, they can never be returned just as he has indeed colonized Migingo.

That is not an issues because UhuRuto are in love with this M7 and will not listen to a word you say. What is worth noting is that was it not for this same neighbourly fellow, South Sudan would have fallen to the dogs; though we are yet to see what is. That’s why you hear the not pink president of the states of unity who’s name starts with an O saying stuff like, respect the gay people or else and I don’t like the bogus cease fire. Kaguta interrupted something sinister. Kudos, here here.

That is what happened whether I know it or not.

Anyhow, I was telling you about this fellow who seems to have seen the light, even at the end of the tunnel. Bo-ni-fa-ci. After one of his latest demonstrations, and by the way I totally respected them whenever, he said the NSIS had called him prior and inquired if he had any evil plans ahead of a planned head of state function. That’s how far he had gone. He had made people start to listen.

But the Aljazeera interview totally brought out his true colours. If you knew him before, you will also have noticed that his physical width has expanded tremendously. So if we were to conclude that he was out to size up with another fat cat known as Githongo, would we be wrong? 

P Bryan Njoroge.

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